What’s up readers?
Today’s article is one of those stories that happens fairly frequently, but you rarely read about it online. You only hear it as a drunk boast from your expat friends… or maybe that’s just me and my immature friends.
That’s where operating an anonymous blog comes into play. I can publish stories like this thanks to my pseudo anonymity (some friends back home know about this blog).
Here’s the story. Oh yeah, this happened yesterday (Friday).
First Day on The Job
So, I recently got a part time job teaching English at a public school here in Saigon. It’s a laid back job and working 2.5 days per week is enough to cover all my monthly expenses, line up Vietnam Cupid dates, work on my businesses, and do client work.
Life is chill.
This job started at the beginning of the school year. My first day at the job I get introduced to all my Vietnamese teaching assistants.
These TA’s come in two varieties. We have the Old Guard, which are the senior English teachers. These are women that are like 40+ and barely speak English. They’ve been doing this job for 20+ years and make a nice cushy salary by skimming money from the school and tutoring.
The variety of TA I’m interested in are the Fresh Meat. Fresh Meat are the young teachers that just graduated university and are beginning their teaching careers.
They speak decent English and actually acknowledge my existence.
I usually talk to each teaching assistant for a few minutes before our class begins and a few minutes during the break.
All the teachers in the Young Guard seem somewhat interested in me. Seriously, this must be what it feels like to be a doctor and all the nurses flirt with you.
Or maybe the teacher in that Van Halen song…
I mean, these women are asking questions like:
“Where you live?”
“You live alone?”
“You have friend Vietnam?”
“You have girlfriend?”
“You want girlfriend?”
“How long you live in Vietnam?”
You get the point. It feels like a date because they’re literally asking the same questions. They obviously are interested and I suspect it has to do with the fact that I’m extremely handsome and young…
Making 10x their salary helps too, I guess.
Anyway, I hit it off with one teacher in particular. We’ll call her Huong (not her real name).
Huong is a recent university graduate and a first year teacher.
She’s a petite little thing with long black hair that touches her ass and some fat lips.
My favorite body type, hair length, and lip size 😀
Public school here works a little differently than the US. One class will last for 90 minutes with a 5 minute break in the middle.
The schedule is this:
Class 1: 90 minutes (5 minute break in middle)
Break 1: 25 minutes
Class 2: 90 minutes (5 minute break in middle)
Lunch: 3 hours
Class 3: 90 minutes (5 minute break)
Break 2: 25 minutes
Class 4: 90 minutes (5 minute break)
Huong and I have 4 classes together, which means a total of 6 teaching hours together each week. We talk A LOT.
Anyway, I usually go back to my apartment and get some work done during lunch since I live like 5 minutes away.
I obviously can’t go back to my apartment on my 25 minute breaks. Instead, I normally go get some food or drink some tea down the street.
Well, one day I ask Huong if she wants to get some tea with me during our break.
Strictly platonic, but she thought it was a date.
Ya’ll should have seen the look on her face. Her eyes lit up with excitement.
We went to get coffee and it was just like a normal date.
Hell, she sat next to me in the booth and kept touching me. Obviously interested.
This was just a platonic date for obvious reasons.
However, it’s impossible for a guy to “just be friends” with a girl. Especially a hot girl.
We exchanged Zalo numbers at the end of the ‘date.’
Planning Date #2
Friday rolls around (my day off) and I’m balls deep in some client SEO work when Huong texts me. Texts included because… why not? Easier for ya’ll to read and more fun.
For the blissfully unaware, a woman that randomly texts you asking, “what are you doing?” wants your attention. She either wants you to be her emotional tampon, she wants some Vitamin D, or she wants money.
She wants an emotional tampon. I’m not going to talk to a girl in a café for fun…
Going out for alcoholic beverages is a much better choice. Lots of Viet girls don’t drink, so asking is always a good thing.
She’s down to drink beer at Bui Vien, notice that I didn’t ask if she wanted to come or ask where she wanted to go. She seems leery about Bui Vien, but yeah she agrees to go anyway.
I always tell my date to wear sexy clothes. It might sound rude and crass, but who cares. Girls love dressing sexy and love it when guys tell them to dress sexy.
6PM rolls around and I’m ready to go. I’m dressed like a fucking boss.
Chinos, desert boots, a fresh H&M button down shirt with the top two buttons unbuttoned and some chest hair poking out. I just a need a gold chain and some shades for the full look.
I head out to pick up Huong from her rundown shoebox apartment.
As soon as I call her she comes down…
She’s wearing a low cut top, a short skirt, and heels. Her nice tan jugs are squeezed up and have that little crack going down the middle.
She looks really damn sexy.
Before she hops on my bike she says, “Owner close door at 10PM. I stay your home if finish after.”
Well, looks like we’re staying out until after 10PM… LOL. That was easy.
I’ll spare the juicy details, but we just sat on chairs on Bui Vien and drank 75 cent beers. And then did some dancing at Donkey.
Ok, ok. She sipped one beer while I drank like five or six. I was pretty drunk by the time I decided for us to head home, so I had her drive my motorbike to avoid any police problems.
We made it back without incident…
We walk into my apartment and her jaw hits the floor when she sees the view.
Side note: Living on a high floor of an apartment that has an amazing view of the skyline is one of the best decisions I’ve made in Vietnam. Do this if you can afford it.
Anyway, I had 5 or 6 beers at this point and am pretty sloshed. I just lie down on my bed while she goes to take a shower.
She comes out wearing one of my shirts. Now, I’m not a particularly big guy, but my shirt looked like a tent on a 4’11” and 85 pound girl lol.
She just plops down in bed right next to me and starts stroking my chest hair and picking lint from my belly button (women love to do this for some reason). No pretending she’s sleeping on the floor or anything.
I’ll spare the details. You can figure out the rest.
She left after breakfast and lunch (a few hours ago).
I think she wants to be my girlfriend…
Unfortunately, I already have a girlfriend and didn’t tell her 🙂
One thing is for sure… this will be an interesting school year. Hopefully I don’t get fired because of this.
UPDATE: I got fired because of this.