Does the below story sound familiar to you?
You meet a cute Vietnamese female on Tinder or Vietnam Cupid, you agree to meet her for a coffee, and you finally meet her at the cafe.
She’s got a cute face, decent boobs (padded bra to cover her papaya tits or flat chest, but whatever), a nice butt (pancake butt when naked, but whatever), and long hair.
In-person, you ask, “Hi, how are you?”
SHE JUST SMILES AT YOU.
Your reaction probably looks something like this:
Yeah, it happens to the best of the us. This article will cover how to spot Vietnamese girls that don’t speak English and how to handle a date with them.
How to spot Vietnamese Girls that Don’t Speak English
This is actually pretty easy. All you have to do is look at her text messages.
I know, I know, most of us can’t be bothered to really read text messages from Vietnamese women. It does help determine if she speaks English, so you want to force yourself to do this.
Basically, if you think it sounds like Google Translate, then it’s always Google Translate.
Every. Single. Time.
These days I like to text girls a little more than normal to determine if she actually speaks English. This means I have to carve out time from my extremely busy daily schedule that consists of shitposting on Reddit, drinking soju, and researching the best blowjob bars in Saigon. However, it does save time in the end because I don’t have to deal with women that don’t speak English.
Sometimes a girl will randomly call you before you meet her. That’s a green light that she speaks English and a huge red light that’s she batshit crazy…
I generally avoid calling girls before we’ve met because it’s needy behavior. Calling her obviously for determining if she speaks English, though.
Use at your own risk.
What to do on a date with a girl that doesn’t speak English?
So, you ignored all the advice listed and have a date planned with a girl that doesn’t speak English…
Understandable. The super hot Vietnamese girls usually don’t speak English. She is hot, right?
There is nothing worse in life than going on a date with an ugly chick that doesn’t speak English. Like, what’s the point?
Moving on, you should have Google Translate installed on your phone. That app has saved me so many times.
The best part with the app is you can speak into it, and it will spit out a translation. It even has a conversation mode, so you can have a full-blown conversation with someone.
With that said…
GOOGLE TRANSLATE DATES ARE THE GAYEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
Like bruh, the girl doesn’t speak English. Do you really want to make her your girlfriend?
Well, actually… Dating a girl that doesn’t speak English has its perks (I’ve done it).
You don’t. So why do you want to have a conversation with her?
Invite Her To Your Apartment
The best strategy for dealing with girls that don’t speak English is to just invite them to your apartment.
It usually doesn’t work, but sometimes it works.
Remember, foreigners don’t want to meet a girl that doesn’t speak English, so these girls are a little more receptive to meeting up.
This is a win-win scenario.
She says “ok. where do you live?” and you get your ding-a-ling wet.
She says “no” or ignores you… you don’t have to deal with a gay-ass Google Translate date.
That’s a win-win in my book.
SOJU IS THE ANSWER!!!
It’s some alcoholic drink from Korea. You can buy it at Family Mart for ~60k/bottle. A bottle of this stuff gets me GEEKED UP, so it’ll probably take two bottles to get the average (read: borderline alcoholic) expat GEEKED UP.
It also has way less calories than beer. That means you don’t have to worry about getting a beer gut.
It doesn’t matter if you’re meeting this girl for coffee at 2PM on a Tuesday (not recommended, see above), at a bar, or even at your apartment – you want to have at least a bottle of soju in you before the date.
Trust me, it’s the best way to make an otherwise BORING date exciting.
Will the girl know I’m drunk?
It doesn’t matter. The date will go well if you aren’t an angry drunk. If you’re an angry drunk, then it’s best to avoid these drunk dates.
Actually, avoid alcohol altogether if you’re an angry drunk.
Why don’t you learn Vietnamese?
As mentioned earlier in this article, I’m a busy guy with stuff to do:
extremely busy daily schedule that consists of shitposting on Reddit, drinking soju, and researching the best blowjob bars in Saigon
I ain’t got time to learn Vietnamese with a schedule like that. Vietnamese is also a hard language and it’s not really that useful because everyone already assumes I’m a dumbass that can’t speak any Vietnamese.