PSA: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FROM CORNAVIRUS [MARCH 15 UPDATE]!!!

Update [March 15]: Vietnam has pretty much shut down the border until April 15th, so you have to do a visa extension at the immigration office ( 333-337 Nguyen Trai).

And all the bars, clubs, karaokes, and massage parlors in D1 have been closed until further notice. Hopefully Merck releases a vaccine soon.

Of course, Merck doesn’t care about money. The only goal of that valiant mega-corporation is to protect the citizens of the world from the novel Coronavirus. I know you might think they only care about profit because they’re publicly traded, but that just isn’t true in the case of pharmaceutical companies. Pharmaceutical companies definitely don’t view humans as dollar signs… like literally every other mega-corporation.

With that in mind, I recommend immediately getting a vaccine and listening to everything that the government and Merck says. Don’t worry that these vaccines haven’t been double-blind tested or that they contain formaldehyde and mercury…

or that no one has ever seen a virus (all those pictures on the news are artist renditions).

or that “it’s just a cough, bro.”

Just get the vaccine when it’s released.

Merck only cares about saving humanity. They don’t view you as cattle.

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There’s this new Coronavirus thing floating around killing Chinese people and stuff. Some people aren’t taking it seriously, as demonstrated in the below image:

However, almost every person in the entire world is freaking out about this (even though it hasn’t really left Asia… YET!), and for good reason. I’ll sugarcoat the news…

THIS VIRUS WILL LITERALLY WIPE OUT YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW. DEAD. ALL OF THEM.

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DEAD.

It’s freaking serious. So serious that I had to spell it out for you multiple times. Get it through your head, kiddo.

Oh yeah, your dog is going to die too 🙂

You might think I’m exaggerating a wee bit, but I’m not. This isn’t a freaking joke. This is serious stuff (by the way, make sure to share this article with everyone you know and give us a like on Facebook).

Extremely. Serious. Stuff. Period. Typing. Like. This. Emphasizes. My. Point.

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HOW TO NOT DIE OF BEERVIRUS!!

Listen up, kiddo. There isn’t anything you can do on your own.

You’re going to die a very painful death from Coronavirus. Better luck next time, plebe.

I mean, I guess in the meantime you can go out and buy a cheap mask that doesn’t do anything and lots of soap. That should work.

Nah, probably not. You’re still going to die (lol).

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That spells DIE You’re going to be dead.

Oh wait, I’m getting news. The government, and the extremely ethical multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company Merck, has just released a vaccine.

Even better, they’re releasing it for free. Well, it’s not really free. Our government has to purchase it at the cheap price of $1,000/shot, but the government is giving it to us for free.

We have such a great government. Don’t we folks.

It’s worth getting this untested vaccine that contains mercury and formaldehyde. We’re going to DIE from this virus. Did you hear that?

DIE.

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By the way, how kind of our government. We sure do love our government, right folks? They’re the greatest. Always looking out for our best interest.

They’re looking out for our best interest so much that, uh, they’re going door-to-door with guns forcing people to take this FREE VACCINE.

SO TAKE IT…

OR ELSE YOU’RE GOING TO DIE OF CORONAVIRUS… or you and your dog will get shot.

5 Comments

  1. Being anti-vax = being pro-facts. You morons swallow every lie from the authorities. Brainless cowards who never think by themselves. “They said in TV that we need to use vaccines.” “Our doctor said we need to use vaccines.” Why the fuck you think these people care about you, not about their wallets you idiots? Always question the authorities if you aren’t their slave. Naive puppets!

    1. Yeah, exactly. The same retards that talk about evil corporations like Monsanto (they’re all evil) will gladly pay Merck $20 for a flu shot that makes them sick for a day. The flu isn’t even fatal… LOL. It’s just a fever and a runny nose.

      Fucking retards. All of them.

      I also don’t think it causes autism – that’s probably from all the plastic in everything. I just think vaccines are a waste of money.

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