There’s this new Coronavirus thing floating around killing Chinese people and stuff. Some people aren’t taking it seriously, as demonstrated in the below image:
However, almost every person in the entire world is freaking out about this (even though it hasn’t really left Asia… YET!), and for good reason. I’ll sugarcoat the news…
THIS VIRUS WILL LITERALLY WIPE OUT YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW. DEAD. ALL OF THEM.
It’s freaking serious. So serious that I had to spell it out for you multiple times. Get it through your head, kiddo.
Oh yeah, your dog is going to die too 🙂
You might think I’m exaggerating a wee bit, but I’m not. This isn’t a freaking joke. This is serious stuff (by the way, make sure to share this article with everyone you know and give us a like on Facebook).
Extremely. Serious. Stuff. Period. Typing. Like. This. Emphasizes. My. Point.
HOW TO NOT DIE OF BEERVIRUS!!
Listen up, kiddo. There isn’t anything you can do on your own.
You’re going to die a very painful death from Coronavirus. Better luck next time, plebe.
I mean, I guess in the meantime you can go out and buy a cheap mask that doesn’t do anything and lots of soap. That should work.
Nah, probably not. You’re still going to die (lol).
That spells DIE You’re going to be dead.
Oh wait, I’m getting news. The government, and the extremely ethical multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company Merck, has just released a vaccine.
Even better, they’re releasing it for free. Well, it’s not really free. Our government has to purchase it at the cheap price of $1,000/shot, but the government is giving it to us for free.
It’s worth it. We’re going to DIE from this virus. Did you hear that?
By the way, how kind of our government. We sure do love our government, right folks? They’re the greatest. Always looking out for our best interest.
They’re looking out for our best interest so much that, uh, they’re going door-to-door with guns forcing people to take this FREE VACCINE.
SO TAKE IT…
OR ELSE YOU’RE GOING TO DIE OF CORONAVIRUS… or you and your dog will get shot.