5 Tips For Your First Date With a Vietnamese Woman

cute asian girl smiling

Getting a date with a Vietnamese woman is easy. Just go on Tinder, find a chick, and invite her out. It’s easy enough.

Here are some tips on making sure that your date goes well. All based on my date experience AND on me eavesdropping on dates while I’m working in a cafe. Everything here is what I thought was common sense stuff that every guy knows, but most guys learn about relationship stuff from Hollywood movies and record company music…

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Take Charge

The most important factor in the success of your date is whether or not you take charge. Seriously, everything is downstream of your ability to lead.

However, I see way too many guys walking behind their Vietnamese woman like a little puppy dog. You may as well lube your asshole up and give her the strap-on. 

Never walk behind your woman (unless you have her on a leash, but even then she still should be behind you.).

It’s more than just that though:

  • Don’t let her pick the venue.
  • Don’t let her pick the table.
  • Don’t let her drive (unless she has an expensive bike. too risky for me to drive a $2,000 bike).
  • Don’t let her complain when you run a red light or ride on the sidewalk.

Women will always try bossing you around to see if you’ll take charge.

Just ignore, or casually dismiss, her bossiness and get back to bossing her around. That’s what she wants. Well, she wants you to do a lot more than that, but that’s crimethink and would make me an Unperson. Read 50 Shades of Grey if you want the answer.


Ok, great. Onto the next point.

Don’t Be Boring

Another common problem are guys talking too damn much AND/OR about super logical guy stuff. Seriously, no woman gives a fuck about all that big brain manly stuff like politics, society, and business. It’s just way too complicated for them to understand.

Yes. I’ve heard guys droning on and on about that stuff to women.


And being boring is the fastest way to have a girl never want to meet you again. 

Speak Some Vietnamese

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You don’t need to be fluent for this to work. 

Throwing out a few cutesy Vietnamese phrases always goes over well in my experience. Hell, counting to ten will work perfectly fine.

You can even ask her how to say a few words in Vietnamese and how to properly say her name… but you should always mispronounce her name. Always gotta show that blatant disrespect.

Make Physical Contact

This is another one that all the experienced readers know.

You always want to make physical contact as soon as possible. Make sure it’s natural and not creepy.

Easier said than done. I know.

You shouldn’t have to consciously think about it. If you are thinking about it, then it’s going to be weird and creepy since you’ll be nervous. And women can easily detect nervousness and uneasiness.

Touching her arm when asking a question, telling her to read your palm or reading her palm (all these chicks love palm reading), comparing hand or feet size, pointing out how small her wrist is and then wrapping your fingers around it, or touching her scar while you ask about it all work perfectly fine.

Poking or tickling her ribcage also works. Playing footsie works, too.  

Those last three get annoying fast. Don’t overdo them.

Have Good Body Language

Another less talked about aspect of a date is body language. It’s one of the most important things you can do on a date.

It’s especially important with an ESL person because they will not fully understand the meaning of your words. But they can certainly understand your body language. Women are especially good at subconsciously reading body language. 

All this stuff has to be on point from the moment you meet your date. I’ll eventually write a full article on body language since I love that stuff. In the meantime, here are some quick tips:

  • Have a Confident Walk (no pigeon toe)
  • Spread Your Legs Wide (Manspread)
  • Have an open body posture (shoulders pulled back, straight spine, arms spread out)
  • Good Eye Contact
  • Talk Slow
  • Don’t be fat
  • Don’t Preen
  • Don’t Fidget 
  • Don’t shift your eyes
  • Don’t put your hands in your pockets
  • Don’t cover your crotch with your hands
  • Don’t touch your face
  • Don’t constantly sip your drink (fidget)

Donald Trump on the campaign trail had great body language. James Bond (Sean Connery) also has good body language:

Pull or Not?

This just depends on the vibe and your logistics. You should know after about 30ish minutes if you have a good shot at getting her back to your place. Some of you with a finely tuned slut radar can pick it up instantly, but 30 minutes is plenty for all but the most inexperienced of men.

Don’t worry too much about it. I like to invite them once if I get a good vibe. If she agrees, then great. But I’m not one of those guys that will try a million different ways to get her back.

They’re not stupid. They know exactly what is going to happen at your apartment.

If she doesn’t agree, then save it for the next date OR invite her over for date #2. Depends on the vibe of the girl.


  1. hey neo,

    I see you make a lot of mean comments about gay people. why do you hate gay people? what did they ever do to you?

  2. Well I did say that I am 42 from Florida and it’s pretty close to accurate as should be in this wonderful internet age. Maybe some of you Floridians know my Schmoey cousins? If you do then tell them that Joey says hi 😉

    The women range from age 23 to 40 with a pretty even distribution. I am older than all of them.

  3. Yep its exhausting.

    Well I decided to leave town on Saturday for a week. Several of these women wanted to see me off at the airport so I kept my exact schedule to a minimum.

    Just like with my arrival to Vietnam I kept my exact arrival info a secret to everyone but one woman in the destination city. Once again I was welcomed to the airport with a bouquet of flowers. I would recommend that any man thinking of having a girl meet him at the airport make sure you show up with an empty vase and make some comment that you like plants and hoped to find some plants to put them in your place in their city.

    Well so far in this new city I have only dated this one woman. It’s because she is so cute, very intelligent & classy, and she loves to spend all night making me feel good in the sack in ways that American girls do not do.

    I think the best thing we can do for these Vietnamese women is to spread the word that this land is such a paradise for single white men. Then the balance of numbers will be better for them and they will be exploited much less. I really do care for them and feel bad at how desperate they seem to act.

    For me I have found that one of the surest ways for me to have very good bedroom bliss is to make sure my Zalo messenger alerts are strategically beeping during the date & for me to make some comments about how yes women do message me all the time but that I am so happy to be with them and hope we can really get to know each other super well. Then they are very motivated to perform in a way that will cause me to forget about everyone else.

    I am 42 years old and I am a caucasian from Florida.

    I only date good looking women with decent English skills.

    1. Nah. Desperate is better lol. If they get too many options, then we get the Korea problem that Hef mentioned. I don’t think they’ll be enough white guys coming here to really change much though. Bigger change will come from them making money and not needing men (like Korea or Taiwan), but I also don’t see that happening. For now, a single woman is generally going to be worse off financially in Vietnam AND her dad will get pissed. Asians are much more conformist (thousands of years of executing any dissenters) than European people too, so they don’t want to piss off authority.

    2. Just like you shithead boomers ruined the US now you wanna do the same thing here?

      You realize if more guys come here that’d be more competition and the girls would turn on your crusty old ass.

  4. I used to think you were probably full of BS but my 1st week of being single in Vietnam is validating that it is a single white man’s paradise. I have had 11 dates in 5 days and most of them have involved going all the way. This includes the dates with a couple virgins. I could have had more dates except that I am working full time 40 hrs per week.

    Now on one thing I disagree with you Neo. Viet girls are more logical and analytical imo than American girls.

    1. Nice. How you meeting them and how old are they? 11 dates in 5 days is insane even by Viet standards. Not so much that’s it difficult to get (it’s not), but that it’s exhausting.

      1. Well I did say that I am 42 from Florida and it’s pretty close to accurate as should be in this wonderful internet age. Maybe some of you Floridians know my Schmoey cousins? If you do then tell them that Joey says hi 😉

        The women range from age 23 to 40 with a pretty even distribution. I am older than all of them.

    2. White guys don’t pull shit here. Never seen a westerner pull anything above a 6 unless she’s a Bui Vien whore or semi pro.

      Most are with fat 3s or plain Janes. All the foreigners who think it’s a great place to meet a wife are walking around with both arms around their spouses while the wife is usually indifferent.

      The women are very cold and selfish including the virgins. Don’t have very affectionate or nurturing personalities. Also there are a lot of undercover sluts, single moms and stealth hookers here. Not exactly conservative.

      Viet girls are kinda control freaks too. Looking for a beta schmuck to walk all over.

      This place is really for Asian guys especially rich ones or Viet Kieus. I’m actually seeing less girls with white and black guys than when I was first here a few years ago.

      A little overrated for women

      1. >If I’m not pulling in like 30 minutes or less…date over.
        >Also there are a lot of … single moms and stealth hookers here. Not exactly conservative.

        Those groups overlap… a lot. For what it’s worth I’ve never even met a single mom nor have I met a stealth hooker (showing cleavage in her pics… hooker). I didn’t even know single moms or dirvocees were a thing here until I talked to some older expats.

        Not sure what you mean by Vietnamese women are control freaks. every woman is trying to dominate a man. it’s how women are. you just gotta pimp slap a hoe and put her in her place. it’s literally what they want and why they try to dominate us. Did you come here expecting women to not shit test you?

      2. I’ve had this mindset before in Saigon, many times in fact. There’s a lot of truth to it. On every point, even the fewer number of white-VN interracial couples. But trust me, they are fucking white guys behind closed doors.

        But like everything else in life, this mindset is temporary. It goes away. You’ll get back out there because your body naturally desires pussy. And you’ll eventually find a decent one amid all the shit**. And like a sturdy Japanese car, you’ll squeeze every last mile out of it and then you’ll turn her in for a newer model, and you’ll look back fondly and say what a great ride that was.

        You’re right, it’s not conservative here. Just check the number of sex hotels for proof. They number in the thousands or tens of thousands. Also refer to how skimpily attractive females dress. It’s well accepted culturally for a sexy female to show off her body and not be condemned for it. But then they need to tell a massive cultural lie that the women are good girls and not the sluts they really are deep down. It’s cognitive dissonance of the highest form.

        But with decent to handsome looks and tight game, you can break these selfish bitches, you can have fun with the single moms and then kick them to the curb (I’ve done it over a half dozen times, including with a pregnant broad in 2016), and you can teach your girls to be more sexual and more caring. The reason I’m in the BPTT Hall of Fame is because I’ve got a pretty long history of bringing girls in with the suaveness, painting an emotional picture that they buy into, seducing them and then moving on. BPTT and female lash-out groups are really just that–lashing out because their wants, desires, motives weren’t given full priority. My frame won out. Now they’re alone and another guy as great hasn’t come along yet. And they’re bitter and want revenge.

        Sadly for us, the absolutely hottest women are out of nearly all foreigners’ leagues, so we have to settle for the best of the second tier. We just don’t have the same value compared to a wealthy, good-looking son of a CEO or high-ranking government official. I was telling Neo recently about how a wealthy woman sitting in a parked Porsche SUV in Japantown with her young daughter on her lap and the window down yelled to me to shut the fuck up and flipped me off when she heard me say aloud that her daughter would someday love foreign guys.

        On the other hand, there are plenty of attractive women out there who love what a foreign guy brings to the table: openmindedness, exotic good looks (never thought I would be called exotic), not having the stupid traditional VN mindset, the ability to travel, and of course a little $$$. You just have to screen for that and filter out the selfish hoes. But be glad that it’s not as bad as Thailand. I’m in groups where even guys with good game have trouble filtering out the opportunist Thai hoes who’ll demand to be paid for sex at the last minute, even when they’re not professional prostitutes.

        **and trust me, there is a lot of shit here; it’s actually a female-driven society and Vietnam’s own brand of feminism dominates. Look at the advertising. Hot females dominate images, no matter what the industry. And if you ever see a hot female in a social setting where she’s clearly the hottest one, you’ll see that they defer to her and part like Moses parted the Red Sea when she moves. That’s why the women are generally bitchy and full of malaise and try to take us men for a ride–because they don’t like being in control naturally and they can’t really leave this place. You can read about how in earlier generations, placing much more importance on male babies above female babies creates a gender imbalance in later generations and the women become much more empowered later. Just look at Korea currently.

        1. well said. +1 for this comment.

          EDIT: Vietnam has like 1st wave feminism. The old guys and people running the gov’t definitely know how to handle women and structure society as such (they don’t give a fuck), but the current generation (EDIT 2: that is coming of age) seems completely clueless. The good thing is feminism only really works in rich countries.

        2. Yeah I always got plates spinning and sex is good but when I walk around with them I always see these ugly shrimpy local dudes with smokeshows and it makes me look bad.

          That’s the quality I want (true 8s) now but unfortunately the hotter roasties are cunts and move a lot slower and are a pain in the ass to fuck on first meet and many have sponsors and loser boomer types with beta game. I prefer fast sex and hate wasting my time. But then again I’d like these sexy girls you see at Takashima or Saigon Center.

          I sent this one twat home after 5 minutes yesterday who came 10km to see me when she said it was weird for us to drink coffee before eating. A lot of them are really snarky and I lost my temper incredibly quickly. It’s obvious she’s a spoiled bitch.

          I don’t ‘pass shit tests’. That’s not my style. I lay down the law and many of these cunts are careerist type A personalities and we clash very fast.

          Seems like you gotta slow down a bit here which I’m unwilling to do for a lot of different reasons.

      3. May I suggest that you treat these women with respect? That seems to be your problem. And remember that it has to be genuine. Faking is a recipe for disaster.

        Yes it’s hard for foreigners to get dates with the most beautiful women because they have spent their teenager and young adult years getting hit on all the time by the cream of the crop of men. Thus most of them are married and having kids before any foreigner has a chance. That is a universal challenge for men worldwide. But eventually they all end up getting old anyway so unless you are short sighted it should not be a big deal.

        I have found that the fact that so many men are jerks is both good and bad. It causes the women to be more cautious as they have been burned so much and they know of stories where others have been burned too. At the same time it makes it easier for those of us who are sincerely trying to be respectful and decent to have a chance.

        If you want to get a woman to have sex with you then the surest way to do it is to help her become convinced that she wants a relationship with her. If I cannot see myself potentially in a relationship with a woman then I will not even ask her out.

        The biggest challenge I have right now is that I am genuinely very attracted to Vietnamese women. When they reciprocate that interest then the sparks of passion start flying. Now I got to worry about producing enough semen to keep up with the demand. Or maybe I should just get pickier?

        1. I can see where Joey’s coming from. When I’m feeling good, that’s the mentality I usually have too. But I think this Drippy Bandz guy has balls. A guy with a my way or the highway type frame commands respect. I know of a certain politician who rose to office with that mentality. Too bad the women here don’t realize the value. Too many beta chodes undercutting a fair market estimate of a broad and willing to put her ass on a pedestal just because she was born with a pussy.

  5. Have any of y’all ever pulled a same-night lay WITHOUT the use of online dating, Facebook, etc.? I’m talking cold approach in public with no prior contact, you stoke her interest and then bring her to a sex location and bang.

    Personally, I’ve only ever done that once in VN and it was a Chinese tourist here alone. Never with a VN chick. I’ve had two close calls, one from Lush back in 2016 who did come back to my place the next morning (she stayed at her friend’s house the night we met at Lush) and was naked in my bed but refused to bang (we banged the next night and continued for a few months), and another recently who I pulled from an event to a spot near the river and we made out. Sex on the second date. The sex came pretty easy, i.e., no resistance, so I’ve been wondering if I could’ve banged her the first night.

    I’m not saying it’s impossible to get a SNL without using online dating (I’ve banged a bunch the first night from tinder, so that doesn’t count), but until it happens here regularly, we can never say it’s as slutty as in the west.

  6. If I’m not pulling in like 30 minutes or less…date over.

    Stuck up, cold, aloof attitude…bye.

    Need to meet in my district. No exceptions.

    Only go for ONS.

    1. Drippy bandz, I lik the cut of your jib. You down for beerz one night this week or next to talk shop and compare notes

      Neo could be our go-between so we don’t have to out ourselves on the blog

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