Do you constantly have Vietnamese women flaking on you?
You know what I’m talking about…
You schedule a 3PM coffee date, at a place near your apartment, with some 6/10 Vietnamese girl you met on Vietnam Cupid since you’re following the advice I outlined in my most popular post about meeting Vietnamese women.
You obviously prepare for the date, which means shaving your balls, taking your weekly shower, and wearing pants. If you follow my advice, then you know to show up casually late (3:05PM).
Your date is nowhere to be found at 3:05PM, so you send her a quick text asking where the hell she is. No response.
Suddenly, at 3:20PM you get a text (if you’re lucky): “Sorry. I have emergency not go.”
Yeah, this happens in Vietnam.
So here are my tips to avoid having a girl flake on your date. They’re not foolproof, but they’ll definitely help.
1. Make Her Chase You
This point probably deserves it’s own blog post, so I’ll try keep it short here. The fundamental concept involved in avoiding flakes, and to actually bang women, is to make her chase you.
Put another way, every social interaction has a power dynamic. One person is the leader/powerful person that sets the frame and the other person/people fall(s) into their frame. When interacting with a woman, you always want to be the leader/powerful person.
This isn’t too difficult in Vietnam because a white man is extremely high value here. Despite this, lots of guys still chase low value Vietnamese women because they’re used to doing that back home (hint: all
Vietnamese women, even the hots ones, are low value compared to a foreign man)…
then they complain to me in an email, or the comments section, about not getting laid.
Anyway, here are some quick tips:
- Don’t let her suggest a place.
About 30% of the girls I interact with will reject my coffee shop location and suggest a different one. I’m guessing it reduces the flake rate to go along with her request, but I don’t like to cave into their requests because that just starts an avalanche of other requests.
- Don’t always be the first one to text.
This is pretty obvious. You shouldn’t always be the first one to text. Yes, in Asia you will have to do it, but don’t do it 100% of the time.
- Avoid directly answering her questions.
Women ask questions to establish dominance over you. They don’t do this consciously, but that’s the end result. Remember, every interaction with another person, or even animal, has an underlying power dynamic. This is true whether you like it or not. So get over it.
All you really have to do is not take her questions too seriously. I already wrote an article on not taking questions seriously. Just don’t give a straight answer. Straight/logical answers boring (boring = dry vagenes) and lets her establish dominance.
Yes, they will “hate” you for it.
But in the end it works because…
Note: Giving illogical answers works better in person with an ESL person because you can use body language, but it still works over text.
2. Don’t Push For A Meetup With An Uninterested Girl
Another important step is to not push too hard for a meetup. I suspect that most of the flaking occurs when guys push way too hard (fall into a chasing frame) for a date with a girl that just isn’t that interested.
Yes, you should always go for a meetup with every girl you have a conversation with. However, pushing for a meetup works a little differently in Asia.
The girls will rarely flat out reject you like they do back home. They’ll come up with a way to kindly let you down such as claiming they’re too busy to meet or they’ll just straight up ignore your invite and text you “hi” a few hours/days later (not a bad sign; just a way to save face). Kind of like this…
Note: Asian girls often use “hi” to start a conversation. Keep pushing for the meetup in the above scenario. I was a dumbass in that text convo btw.
Sure, some girls really are busy, but if she is interested she’ll offer a different date/time.
But if the girl keeps rejecting your meetup, then you should take the hint and consider it a no. If you keep pushing and she finally says yes, then don’t act surprised when she doesn’t show up to your date.
It’s easier for some Vietnamese women to agree to a meet and then flake than it is for them to just flat out reject you.
Yes, all this stuff is weird to us Westerners since we’re so damn blunt (especially Americans and Simon Cowell), but that’s how the whole saving face culture works in Asia.
3. Screen For Interest
Piggybacking off of point #2 is our next tip.
You should screen for a girl that is interested in you. If it feels like you’re carrying most of the weight in the interaction or she is always late to reply, then she’s much more likely to flake on you come date time.
Just let her go if that’s the case. Sometimes ignoring her for a few days will make her more interested.
Quite frankly, I have a very, very low tolerance for girls dicking me around by replying late, giving one word answers, and expecting me to text first all the time. That’s always a hard no from me.
Yeah, you’ll lose some girls. Again, there are so many interested women that it’s not too big of a deal.
On the other hand, does she constantly text you first? Does she text you a lot? Does she ask you a lot of questions? Does she always respond instantly? Does she invite you out for a date?
Yes to any of those?
Then she probably won’t flake.
It really is as simple as that.
Honestly, if you’re following the advice in #1, then most of the girls will be interested after the next tip.
4. Build Rapport
The final step to avoiding a flake is to build some rapport before the meet.
Yes, sometimes you can get away with just inviting her out after 3 messages because we’re so high value here.
It happens. I’ve done it.
However, your odds of having her flake are wayyyy higher.
Now, I’m not saying to spend a month messaging a girl, skyping her, and masturbating to her Facebook pictures. That’s just gay.
You should spend a day or two doing a little back and forth to at least build up some sort of connection. AKA: Follow the first step and make her chase you for a bit. Don’t take it to seriously, don’t discuss heavy topics, don’t fall into her interview frame of questions, and don’t qualify yourself to her.
Just keep things light, funny, short, and use precisely 0 logic….
Always have her chasing you!!!
First, she’s way less likely to flake if you do this small amount of work. She’s already invested some time in interacting with you and has a “connection.”
Second, it sets a good frame for the date. You’ve already established yourself as the more powerful party in the interaction. Just make sure that you carry over that frame into the date.
Just don’t be that guy that can text smoothly and then is literally shaking on a date. That’s bad.
Finally, you can figure out if you even want to meet her.
Some girls are just so damn boring that you won’t even want to meet them. I mean, women are always boring, but some are really, really boring.
Basically, all these tips boil down to not chasing women and screening out uninterested girls. That’s it.
That’s literally all you need to do to avoid 99% of flakes in Southeast Asia.
Seriously, don’t chase and don’t try to make an uninterested girl interested in you. There are so many girls that want to meet foreigners that you don’t have to put up with that shit. You shouldn’t put up with it in the US either, but yeah harder to do because it goes against our logical brain.
Anyway, up your standards. We’re in Asia. Our value is so damn high here.
Finally, you’ll get A LOT better at screening out these women the more time that you spend over here. It’s kind of a sixth sense.