How to Smoothly End a Relationship With a (Vietnamese) Woman

sad ex

Expats living in Vietnam don’t struggle finding a girlfriend. You can meet a woman and marry her after the third date.

That’s just a joke…

You can meet a woman and marry her after the first date.

That one is not a joke.

Seriously, just go on Tinder and find your future wife.

The bigger difficulty is ending a relationship with a Vietnamese woman. These women might be nice and everything, but there are plenty of reasons that you might want to break up with them.

Some guys will drag out the breakup process and make things needlessly complicated.

And quite frankly, doing that is a waste of time and doesn’t make anyone feel better. Been there; done that.

Don’t do it.

All you have to do is follow these three steps… that I literally copied from the CIA guidelines on ending a relationship with an informant. If it’s good enough for the CIA, then it’s good enough for your future ex-girlfriend.

You can also use it for paid informants and business partnerships, I guess. We’ll just focus on your girlfriend since that’s the most likely scenario for a reader of this blog.

Note: The CIA never actually hired me. I read about this method from a book called “Left of Boom” by a retired CIA case officer… (no joke, I applied during uni).

It’s called FFF.

That stands for:


hot asian girl

The first, and most important, F is fast.

When ending a relationship you want things to go fast. Don’t be a Nice Guy and drag it out to make the woman feel better.

It only wastes precious time. Time that can be spent banging other girls or making money.

We all know the fastest way to end a relationship is to just send her a text message. Yeah, people (women mostly) say ending a relationship via text message is bad or something like that.

However, it is perfectly acceptable, and my recommended way, to end a relationship. There is absolutely no logical reason to end a relationship in-person or via phone call. “It’s the right thing to do” or “It will provide closure” aren’t logical reasons, so don’t even bring those up.

All that happens when you end a relationship in-person is that she will either attack you (extremely rare), cry a lot (100% chance), offer you lots of sex in the hope that you stay (100% chance), get pissed off and blame you (100% chance), or try to guilt you (100% chance).

Oh, and the girl will still hate you when you eventually leave anyway. Girls don’t feel emotions the same as men (except toward their children).

Women use emotions as an act to manipulate you.


The next F is final.

Basically, you want her to understand that you ending the relationship is final.

No amount of crying, blowjobs, threesomes, or food will ever change your mind.

This also means no “lets be friends” type arrangement since that is always used by a woman to needle their way back into a relationship.

Explain that once to a woman. And then use “no” for every subsequent text that she sends you or… don’t reply to her texts. Up to you on that one. Not replying is definitely better.

Don’t bother getting in an argument or answering her phone calls. And yes, she will still call you and text you.


asian girl on wall

The final F is forever.

You want her to know that in no point in the future will you ever be in a relationship with her. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Not five years later.

She won’t listen to you. They never do.

Just ignore her texts and all phone calls.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some common questions about using this method to break up with your girlfriend.

“Can we just be friends or friends with benefits?”


First of all, why would you want to have a woman friend?

More importantly, she’s just using that as a manipulation tactic to get you back in a relationship OR so she can stay comfortable while she searches for another guy.

Only bang her if she agrees to a threesome with her hot friend. Just be careful that she doesn’t go choppy-chop downstairs.

“Ha. You’re wrong. I broke up with my girlfriend and she was OK with it.”

She was most likely cheating on you, which means she was already planning on breaking up with you.

Sorry dude. That’s the truth.

Women are only comfortable with a break up IF AND ONLY IF it is on their terms. In this case that means having another guy lined up. That’s just evolutionary/instinct. So don’t get too mad at women about it.

It’s like getting mad at your “pet” piranha for eating your cat when it falls in the fish tank. The piranha has no agency. It’s just acting on instinct.

Anyway, this is why they get so emotional when a guy randomly breaks up with them… they don’t really care about you personally despite what they say. They’re distraught that they have do not have a man for emotional/physical support.

And yes, I’ve experienced this as the “other guy” and as the guy doing the breaking up. I’ve never been dumped.

“This sounds mean.”

That’s an emotional argument. Men don’t have time for emotional things like worrying about hurting a woman’s “feelings.”

You don’t want to be in that relationship purgatory for years of your life.

And I 100% guarantee you that’s where most of you will be if you don’t follow the FFF principle.

It’s more mean to waste a woman’s time anyway. They only have a small amount of time that they can find a man and have a kid.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, you can still get away with having an ex on rotation. She’ll even be fine with you seeing other girls if you play your cards right. However, you really have to know what you’re getting yourself into.

Personally, I don’t recommend it because it’s a headache unless you have the proper frame. And you don’t have the proper frame.

You’ve been warned.

And in Vietnam, there are so many women that you don’t need to keep your ex on rotation. It’s way more headache than it’s worth.

Just go on Tinder and find a new girl. Super easy.


  1. Hi Neo, I hope all is well with you there.
    I’m new here but I could use your advice. So I work in this clinic (in Europe) and got involved with this Vietnamese girl I met who’s caring for a patient of mine. So after 2-3 dates (and sex) she started asking for things like a new phone for her daughter back home, or even I be her taxi driver and take her places.
    So my question is I’m thinking of ending it all right now, how likely is it that she makes problems for me at work? It goes without saying that the administration’s stance on therapists getting fucktimate with patients or their help is a no-no.
    Is there a particular way I should go about it? Sorry for the long post!

    1. Wow. Big mistake. And she’s a single mom!!!

      She might make problems at work; she might not. It depends on how much shame she has and how you handle it. FOB Vietnamese women probably won’t make many problems at work tbh – it’s a cultural thing. They want to save face and all that.

      Personally, I’d do a soft denial in this case since it’s work and she’s probably used to Asian rejection (saving face).

      “Can I have a new phone?”
      -“Sorry. Now is not a good time because of Coronavirus.”

      “Can you drive me to the spa?”
      -“Sorry. Now is not a good time because of Coronavirus and social distancing.”

      “Can we meet?”
      -“Sorry. Now is not a good time because of Coronavirus and social distancing.”

      “Do you love me?”
      -“Sorry. Now is not a good time because of Coronavirus and social distancing.”

      Just keep doing that. She’ll (hopefully) get the hint and find another victim. That’s how Asians do rejections.

  2. So you’re a glow in the dark CIA nigger that wants white men to have Asian babies. Good to know.

  3. That group-search ‘boc phot trai tay’ in FB really sucks as they don’t allow guys to join so you cannot defend yourself. With nearly 10k members (all women with the odd sneaky fake guy profile) it can cause a lot of issues for ppl who work here as it’s far reaching and often is exaggerated made up stuff. Part of my screening process for a new chick is to check if she’s in there…red flag if so

    1. I heard they let all Vietnamese girls join the group including the fake profiles. I’ll make a fake profile and report back. Definitely see how it would suck if you work here, but not too worried about getting posted in there otherwise.

      Screening chicks as being a member is smart. All the girls in that group are psychos.

      1. If a girl writes something positive there about a guy, she ll get kicked out of the group. Happened to a girl I knew.
        They are only allowed to defame guys, that’s it. It is a complete hate group against western guys. Lots of lies in there too from girls trying to get “revenge” after getting dumped.

    2. I recommend to be wary of a person named Thao on VC who is 26 years old and lives in HCM District 7. Her Overview starts with “my name is sports” right now.

  4. How come you now recommend Tinder instead of VietnamCupid?
    Have you heard about the Facebook group where Vietnamese girls talk shit about Western guys? I guess its mostly about guys from Tinder and Badoo.

    1. I get annoyed when blogs constantly shill stuff, so I won’t do it.

      Yes, I’ve heard of the group. I’ve not been featured in it, but know guys that have. Honestly, it probably wouldn’t hurt as much as you’d think because women can’t logically think through stuff like that.

      1. If you have been on more than 3 dates in Saigon, I am sure you have been featured and trashed as well. They dont allow positive comments about guys btw.

        1. I was walking around talking to chicks on Bui Vien at 3 AM this past Saturday night and some chick I walked up to blurted out the name of the street I live on thanks to my being featured in the BPTT FB shame group. A few chicks I matched with on tinder their first words were, “do you know you’re really famous?” A chick I had been with messaged me that same line a few days after our first night together. I’m not too concerned.

          For a while, I wrote “BPTT Hall of Fame” on my tinder bio ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  5. “They don’t really care about you personally despite what they say. They’re distraught that they have do not have a man for emotional/physical support.”

    This is unbelievably true. That explains why I see good looking women with fat, sloppy dudes here. The women aren’t stupid, they can’t actually be attracted to those slobs can they? No, they just like a guy who will dote on them hand and foot, pick them up and shuttle them around the city and be their emotional tampon.

    “It’s more mean to waste a woman’s time anyway. They only have a small amount of time that they can find a man and have a kid.”
    If we don’t care about hurting their feelings, then why do we care about wasting their time? I certainly don’t. They’re sure as hell happy to waste ours. Frankly, I’m a little shocked to hear Neo the uncompromising playboy with rock-solid frame say something like this. You’ve gone soft on us.

    For me, I never break up with a woman. And they never have any big breakups with me either. They can tell that our relationship is only temporary, only casual, and if there’s something about our arrangement that doesn’t suit them, there’s the door. I may go silent and stop reaching out to a woman, but there has never been a need to do anything more than stop texting or setting up dates. When I go silent on them, they get the hint and reciprocate the silence. Works every time, especially if you’re smart enough to not shit where you eat.

    1. This article is aimed at guys with a somewhat legitimate girlfriend. Will edit that in.

      Casual stuff? yeah just delete them and disappear into the concrete jungle never to be seen again (unless you work with them lol). Or they’re insane and show up at your apartment unannounced… very rare. Though I’m sure it happens from time to time with the ugly/older girls that have more difficulty finding a guy.

      That response in particular was to logically explain to the more unaware readers how a mean sounding method is actually better long term. Not caring is obviously best.

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *