I haven’t written a personal story on this blog in a long time because, well, my (sex) life has been pretty f*cking boring the past year.
Well, that changed sometime recently. And boy did it change fast.
Set The Stage
So, I’ve been on an awful sleep schedule. I literally go to bed at like 9AM and wake up at 5PM or 6PM.
That’s one of the perks of working for yourself online and having a debitaliting addiction to the internet… I guess.
Anyway, I was 250 words into a 1000 word article for a client while sitting in my favorite café at around 4AM.
In other words, it was getting pretty close to my bedtime and I’m deadass tired. Good thing my client is a German guy that doesn’t realize my articles have terrible grammar and pretty much suck.
Just one more (shitty) article left before I could get some sleep.
Suddenly, a somewhat attractive Vietnamese woman (body, not face) walks by and smiles at me. I smile back at her.
And it’s fucking on.
This girl stops in her tracks and stands right next to me to “read” the shitty article I’m writing.
“Uh, hi?” I say to her.
She just gives me a blank stare and motions to the hearing aid in her ear.
Oh, fuck. This girl is deaf. She kinda cute with big titties and ass [for an Asian], tho.
She just awkwardly stands behind me for a minute while I’m typing.
Get the fuck out of here, weirdo.
I stand up to make my nicotine addicted exit for 7 minutes, and being the gentleman I am, invite her along and even offer her a cigarette. She just motions at the chair across from my table.
I nod my head… and she sits down at my table.
Ok.jpg. Guess I’m smoking alone.
The whole time I’m smoking I’m staring at my table to make sure my laptop doesn’t grow legs and walk away.
Deaf girl doesn’t vacate my table when I make my return.
Great, I have to “talk” to some deaf Vietnamese woman with big tits, a nice ass, and a 5/10 face.
Meh. It could be worse… she could be ugly or fat.
So yeah, we have a very interesting conversation about astrophysics and the meaning of life.
Nah, just joking. This girl just stares at me from across the table while I’m typing. She would occasionally show me her phone with the Google Translation of a single Vietnamese word, a picture of herself drinking beer with other women that look suspiciously like prostitutes, or start motioning while grunting like a f*cking walrus.
The cute girls working at the café, who all know me because I basically live there, were laughing their asses off at this whole situation.
This “date” literally went on for about an hour and I wrote about three sentences in that time period. Eventually, I start playing charades and footsie with her. Both of which were actually fun because this deaf girl was cool.
To cut a long story short, after about an hour and a half of playing charades and footsie with her I motion that I’m tired and am heading home to sleep.
She charades to me that she wants to sleep with me and does that heart sign with her hands.
Whatever, I’ll go to my bike and I’ll take her back if she hops on.
Of course, this girl tries to run out in front of me when I stand up.
It literally sends me into an autistic rage.
I put my hand on her shoulder and quickly walk in front of her. She falls back behind me.
Good, she ain’t uppity.
Anyway, I walk outside and the security guy pulls my bike out. Deaf girl just stands next to me. I put my helmet on and she charades to me that she needs a helmet.
Not going to lie, I got a half chub at that exact moment.
Neo is getting laid today!
We get to my apartment, which is a total mess because I wasn’t expecting any of this, and she opens her bag. This deaf-mute whore has a dress, high heels, toothpaste, a toothbrush, shampoo, and a shit ton of makeup in her backpack.
She basically had a mini wardrobe in her f*cking backpack.
She takes out her dress, grabs my towel, and heads to the shower.
Pro Tip: I told her to take a shower so I could hide all my 500ks notes and credit cards under my sofa. Never trust a girl that you met two hours ago at a D1 cafe at 4 in the f*cking morning.
She hops out of the bathroom in her dress smelling like the body wash I have in my shower (I don’t use it). The back zipper on her dress is broken, so I can see her entire back, her underwear, and that she isn’t wearing a bra.
She turns off the light and hops in bed with me.
I motion for her to sleep on the couch when she lies down next to me. She just gives me a coy smile and shakes her head, “no”.
Pretty sure I was rock hard at this point btw.
I wait a few minutes before making my move. She’s very receptive to my advances (my breath smelled like shit, though, so I did brush my teeth). I grab one of her fat titties and she proudly rips off her dress, gets on top of me, and shoves her fat titties in my face.
Yeah, this girl knows she’s got big tits.
I go to town slurping on those jugs.
Eventually, she grabs my dick and a shocked look comes across her face and she starts smiling.
She does the “very big” motion with her hands and gives me a thumbs up.
My dick ain’t big enough to warrant that reaction if I’m being honest with myself, but I appreciate The Show – this is why I love Asian women.
So yeah, sex commences. And I was totally expecting her to sound like a walrus during sex. Hell, that was what I was most looking forward to about f*cking a deaf woman.
But her moaning was barely above a whisper.
She didn’t even squeak like most Asian women.
Very, very disappointing.
On a positive note, she definitely knew how to work a dick. She knew all the spots to hit and the right place to rub (right under the head).
I’m sure she was a virgin, though.
The girl was on her period. But I didn’t give a fuck. That’s why Neo always goes from behind (she had an amazing ass and not very pretty face) and/or under the sheets.
Ok, I’ve been in Asia way too long, so anything that isn’t a literal f*cking pancake makes me…
Sadly, my bed looked like a murder scene. And she had blood dripping out when she got up to go the bathroom.
Oh well. She cleaned it up and the maids, who probably thought I went full Patrick Bateman, gave me new sheets the next day.
Pay Up, Sucker
We finished our Bible study session and went to sleep together.
I had already told her, and by “told” I mean wrote on Google Translate because she’s f*cking deaf, that my landlord is a police officer (she’s not…). My money was also hidden, so I wasn’t worried about anything getting stolen.
But for safe measure, I still slept on top of her because I left my real handcuffs in America and didn’t have any rope handy 🙁
We wake up at like 4PM, order some pho, and then Neo offers her some “Grab” money. The GrabBike cost 13k, so Neo gave her 70k because Neo is a gentleman.
She frowned and looked very upset.
Neo then pulled out the last 150k from his wallet and gave it to her. She still looked angry.
Neo then dropped her off at her destination on Bui Vien because she didn’t have Grab on her phone. Believe me, I looked through her apps – she didn’t have Grab or Gojek on her phone.
Deaf Vietnamese prostitutes apparently can’t use Grab or Gojek. The fuck?
Final Verdict on Deaf Women
Deaf prostitutes are great. And I got a deal at a little less than $10 for this whole encounter.
She was in my top 5 Asian women when body + disability (she literally couldn’t talk – it was great).
Honestly, Neo is interested in having sexual relations with women with all kinds of disabilities. Neo does not discriminate based on disability, looks, or weight.
Just no fat chicks or ugly chicks. That’s fucking disgusting.
Blind women, paraplegic women, double amputee women, and nuggets (quadruple amputees) are all women that Neo would be open to having sexual relations with after this encounter.